think about thoughts

i was trying to make a formula about God few minutes ago, but in an attempt to do so, i failed.
GOD + LOVE = ME
GOD + FORGIVENSS= ME
GOD + GRACE = ME
GOD – LOVE = A PACK OF RULES
anyways. all of those equations are COMPLETELY WRONG.
WRONG WRONG AND THE GRAVEST MISTAKE! IT’S WRONG! FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

why are all of those equations completely wrong?
The very simple reason is this, God cannot be added with love, grace, peace, joy, hope and such, because he’s God.
God is LOVE, FORGIVENESS, HOPE, PEACE and such.
So with or without me, he cannot be shortchanged.
Whether i have grown to be more christ like today or not, he does not change.
Get it? because he’s God.
This is why the saying is true, in order to be more loving, just be with the person that is the author of love, Jesus.

maybe there’s a formula that’s true.
GOD + ME = SMILE
He smiles over me and likewise you too.
ME= ME. It means everything about you. Irregardless if you are a person that loves chocolate, sinning, smart, idiotic, handsome, shit like or whatsoever.
He smiles over us. =)
That simply truth brings me great content.
God smiles over me not because of what i can do, but who i am.

when will the smile ever be wiped off from your mouth?

That’s for post no. 1. haha.

Post no. 2

In this hectic society we are living in, Singapore, we hardly have any channle to pour out our emotions.
Don’t talk about adults, even kids don’t even have a channle to share with. poor kids.
The society demands from us quality work in a speedy time. Many of the times, work above feelings.
Well, i guess that we need not to be in army to taste pressure. But in our daily lives, right?
Therefore, i believe in leading by caring for the needs of our people first.
If not, the church will be no difference from the working world.
If every single call to our people is only about ministry, shepherding, confirmation then i guess we have lost the whole essence of church.
A family.
A family must behave and act like a family. Where true care is shown. When we will just asked of each other, ‘How’s ya day? Is everything going on fine with you?’

If not it will be more like a working group. and that sucks, for sure.

Post 3.
I think i’m insane. well, at least, for his sake.
I studied 8 hours straight today. Hell day.
I’ve counted the cost ever since i decided to keep on taking ministry.
so it’s perfectly fine with me, though it’s a mental torture.
My first part of the day was studying with sarah at Bishan.
First at Bishan macs then too CC.
After that, we met mimi for dinner at 7pm in newton circus.
we ate like some pig.
We had stringray, sotongs, some vegetables, Satay, chicken wings and rice.
Total cost: $40.50. we could not finished the food.
Then we head for town, paragon, coffee bean.
Chilled out and just talked cock.
i drank tea while they drank chocolate and some white drink.
we sat at those seats near the road, and i took some time to enjoy the music of the road.

A day of mental torture and chilling out with school friends.

post 4.
About sherman’s care group.
this group has been pathetically same and dead for many weeks alright.
God did something this week. Something that we really believed, because of the state we are in, when it’s accomplished we will be a inspiration to others.
how far north started with 2 people and a unit then a sub d.
They had very good contacts this week, and had a fruitful sowing.
God is moving in this group.

God himself wants to be glorified, and if we want to grow our group, why wouldn’t he?
the problem lies with our motive.

the end of my long post for today.
david hoe

there are many things in life that we may never comprehend.
but there’s something i can completely understand by now,
my eye lids are getting heavier each minute by minute.

it’s 2.02 am now, and i have just finished planning for thr brothers group in far north west till end december.
there are going to be many happening events coming along our way!
50 will be done by his grace!
50 pairs of socks.

I had a fruitful day.
In the morning, i met rah at Bishan to do some school work and after which, i went to Sherman’s care group!
It was terrific. God always answers prayer, doesn’t he?
God himself wants to be glorified, and when we desire to glorify him, he will make sure it come to pass. The only question is our motive.
So God gave.
After care group, we went to eat BCM. The truth is, i’m getting really sick of it. shhh. haha.
We retreated to macs and sherman and alvin bought ice cream. Due to the place was too SMALL AND HUMANS POPULATED, we decided to head for KFC instead. haha. Had shepherding with Sherman there. hmm. after whcih, i head down to Jurong Point to meet Zinc.

What we are is what we consumed. hehe.

I had an enjoyable time talking to my DMM over the phone just nw.
Joel led us into prayer.
haha.
alright, it’s time to head for my lovely bed.

goodnights.
davidhoe

once again, i dragged my feet out of my bed this morning.
I had to wake up before the sun rises from the east.
Simply because, i had to seat for my first paper today, English.
I kept telling myself that i had to write in a certain manner.
Nevertheless, i still trust in God.
Thankfully, the topic i choose to write was about fame.
This is because in my life, i have recieved much fame from above.
Comprehension paper was bombarded with many questions plus the passage was lengthy.

The papers ended at 12.25pm.
Afterwhich, i met yk and jerld to study till 8 at night.
Managed to complete few stuffs.
A math P1 and P2, Chem and read through some test corrections on phy and a math.
Still, i felt unaccomplished.
Because i have few more papers that were uncompleted.

I played spades just now, and i want to play hearts later. =)
I, DAVID HOE, DECLARE THAT HE HAS OFFICALLY ENDED HIS SCHOOL TERM.
I WILL ONLY REPORT BACK TO SCHOOL FOR EXAMINATION.
approved. =)

and i seriously cannot wait for my O levels to end.
This is because i want to burn away all those hideous books!

Alright, just before i end.
I really want to appreicate my leadership team once again.
For their unreserving love for their people and God.
They have gone the extra mile. =)
You guys have really lighten my load in leading and studying at the same time.
I love all of you.
Walter, Joel, Sherman and Sathaya. =)

David hoe

the alarm clock kept buzzing off this morning, and i stomped out of my bed to shut it off.
unknowingly, i was susceptible to the bed beckoned.
the next thing i knew was, ‘its seven in the morning’
I sat up at a perpendicular angle and contemplated if i should go school or not.
The consequence of being late for school dissuaded me to attend it.
I made deliberate effort in setting my alarm to 7.30am because i wanted to study till noon, as i have to compensate for what was lost.
however, the effort vanished into thin air. I could not dragged my feet out of my bed!
It was only till about 9 in the morning, that i decided to get up from my position.
Still, i’m astounded by the fact that i could not find the strength to drag out of my bed.

Surprisingly, i did what i had wanted to do.
i studied with dread for three hours.
Spent 2/3 of the time practicing mathematics because i guess, i might have forgotten some basics.
the most hilarious thing was that i reprimanded myself for not being able to do relative velocity questions!
After spending 45 mins on it, i decided to move on to other chapters. =)
I spent 1/3 of my time doing chem and fell asleep on my table, then onto my bed and back to my table again.
I tried to keep myself awake, but my mere strength did not enable me to.
The sweltering heat plus a heavy meal, made me felt lethargic.
I guess i have to admit that the last 1/3 of studying was not fruitful at all!

When the clock striked 2.15pm, my heart beated at a faster rate.
‘Prayer meet will being at 4pm! i better get change and head for the train,’ as i iron my shirt and droplets of perspiration rolled down from my face. ‘Everthing thing is in my bag and i guess i’m ready to leave,’ i thought to myself. ‘Bye dad!’ were the last words before i left the house.

Once again, prayer meet did not start on time due to some people that were late, and i believed that all had consequential reasons for such an action. What i enjoyed most about this prayer meet was that, only DMM can attend. Ting led worship while Joyce played the guitar. It was surprising because i thought they might asked sherman to play. During worship, God reminded us of how Jesus was being mocked at. This unconditional love has gave us the strength to give up certain things in our lives for him. When the prayer meet ended, i met my all my care leaders. It consisted of Joel, Sherman, Sathya, Walter and me. We screened closely into the lives of each leader. Namely, David and Neh. Leaders started off with a burden and their hands moved. They fought from victory and not for victory. Surely, i enjoyed the time spent with them. 50 pairs of socks by end december 2006! we called our group a revival generation with a specific reason. =)

After the prayer meet, i rushed down frantically to cck and meet yk. We head for somewhere and got Melvin a cute soft toy. Yk bought for me a bar of chocolate, and i really appreicated it greatly. I decided to keep the box! =) Then we head for town and met Melvin with the rest of his friends. It brought me a great sense of joy to see Melvin and the rest. I really treasure my the friendship we have with each other. Friends are not something that can be easily found. And i thank God for such people that he has placed in my life. People like Melvin, Jarvin, Yk, Mark, Seah, DMM and sheep. Not forgetting my shepherd, denniers loh. I still find that ‘loh’ is such a weird surname.

Afterwhich, i head for home with Melvin on the train. He was caught in the limelight because of the huge tortise.
Once again, i treasure all these relationships that God has given to me. Though i might not be able to spend equal amount of time with everyone of them, but in the deepest recesses of my heart, they matter. Thank you, Jesus.

Even as i typed out about my day, my stomach is filled with butterflies. Tomorrow is the start of my prelims, and i have not done my complete preparation. God, i desperately need your help. Help me to excel and choose the right topics to study. Alright, i trust in you.

davidhoe

a lifestyle that is filled with epicurean.
how interesting can that be?
from that very few coins, the taste of certain food brings delight into our soul.
Such ravishing sensation cannot be described by few mere words.
it’s a feeling that hovers around the heart.
as much as i enjoy such epicure lifestyle, i abhor the consequences.
many hours have to be spent on strenous movements, which results in a flood of perspiration that rolls.
but still, i see the value of doing so. =)

something that is still bothering me ever since few minutes ago.
though it seemed trivial but it makes my head goes banging real damn hard.
to a person comment on if we are happy to see such devastating results.
firstly, i comprehend that many of the times humans have the capability to play with words.
e.g. telling them the tea is nice DOES NOT MEAN they are asked to drink the tea.
thus likewise, i do not understand why do they pushed the blame to those people who told them that the tea was nice, but it was all along their decision to drink it. so why using wth and wtf.
its the drinker decision, and the owner made it extremely clear to the person on the reason for decision.
so to that very person who choose to drink that very cup of tea, it’s extremely rude and unscrupulous of you.
in order to vent your anger, you did such a profanity manner.
more than that, the drinker says that we do not know what the true taste of the tea.
but then again, how are we supposed to know if that very drinker, does not tell anyone of us how does it taste like.
then now, that drinker just lifts all the blame to the owner, WTB. WHAT THE BRAINS.
drinkers, do not push the blame onto others when you choose not to let the others know about it.
trying to hide that ya have drank it before and keeping that face as if nothing has ever happened, will be exposed.
so now, it’s exposed.

drinker,
one type of tea that none of us can buy, its within the heart. drinker, oh you drinker, what’s the smell of the tea now? green tea or earl gray? peppermint?. yet, i smelled none of those mention. But only a heart that is filled with shattered pieces or glasses, blood and tears. sometimes, we cannot exactly blamed the people around us, we choose to let this heart be so fragile. The glass will break and shatter into uncountable pieces when it falls off. Now dear drinker, who can mend it for you. the truth is, piercing all those words doesn’t make anything better. so what do you gain, but mocking others? happy? or even more bitter. Drinker, you have drank the tea you made. Someone just realized that the tea ought not to be kept any longer, thus threw it away. Your perspective on it is such that we hate this cup of tea. It was for your good. Even as i speak, i comprehend that rampant questions and critics builds up in the reservior of your heart. all i can say is this, would you give this heart to him. let a divine exchange come in.
david.

even as i speak, my heart just pours out for you.
a sudden compassion rises within.
you matter.

davidhoe

as i sat on the chair, laying my hands flat down across the table, i took out my phone and took a snap short of the cup.
This cup has been on my table for close to 2 years?
It was a gift from one friend.
I couldn’t bear to use the cup for two simple reasons.
It’s extremely nice and it has lots of value to me. =)

my day was comprable to a heart that is racing at an uncountable velocity.
the displacement seemed never ending and the time taken is infinite.
it beats at such a rate that the GM tube explodes.

However, i’m glad to have been through this day.
I hate being confrontation as i know its the stake of relationship.
This is the second time is year. Gracious me.

Sometimes, when the truth is exposed or found out, a surge of anger rises within.
The excruaciating pain is a result of a double life.
When friends confront each other, they are simply taking a knife and stab from the from rather than the back.
Surely, it hurts more, isn’t it?
But that is what i call true friendship.
It is when both parties dare to be real and transparent to each other.
And giving the person the knife. =) I love this type of friendship.
where we can be that damn real, and dare to love each other.

i guess many will beg to defer, because we hate to be confronted.
let’s just have some friends to chill out at pubs or stuff.
well, that’s important though, but we need friends who will speak into our lives.
life is just too freaking tough to go on alone, that is why he made other humans which is of same gender with you.
so that they can comprehend each other situation better. =)

a story about two friend of mine.
let’s call this person MY and the other SL.
MY is an expressive person especially in showing love towards others.
He lavished his love onto people through words and touch.
When i first had a serious meet up with him, he seemed to have a heart of hunger.
However, i could not see through those piles or words and actions.
I was tricked into believing all those politically correct reasons.
to my horror, i learn that i’m not the only victim.

till today, i’m unable to comprehend the reason for his lying.
those lies were one after the other.
even when MY choose to leave, it was not a responsible act.
i wonder, were there any foundation not rooted well.

then came SL, who is rather interesting person.
I knew this person through a class, and ever since then i spoke to SL.
I heard from others that SL was not doing well at times.
Once i had a chance to talk to SL on the way to bus stop.
I’m glad SL listened.
However, reading SL post.
a sudden surge of anger flare up within me.
i saw a misconception of God that made me felt disgusted!
T concept of God was such that God is only concern about pople being leader not the being!
i seriously mean WTH.
you mean God doesn’t care about your being?
you mean we are some slave machine?
hello. God cares enough to know how you feel but you don’t care and talk with him.
so whose fault is it?

oh yeah. another character, S.
MY messaged S today saying he has made up his mind.
To my discovery, i realized that MS is in a relationship for months.
One thing i can conclude by look at MS, is selfish.
They are more concern about keeping the person to themselves rather than helping each other.
Giving reasons like family, studies and friends are bullshit.

Even so, if you were to leave because this church has damn high expectations.
i urge you to read the bible.
normal christian life.

So now, i sincerely hope that MS will make a sound decision.
at least i know God is moving.

davidhoe

the devastation overcame my sense of euphoria.
my heart shattered into millions and millons of pieces when i first heard it.

till today, i have yet able to comprehend why do some people enjoy living under the facade of lies?
i trust them enough that they just chucked the whole shit of lies unto my face.
it’s not as if that i will not accept them for what they did, neither am i going to impose ecnomic, political or social sanctions upon them, right?

you did it simply to cover the relationship.
in the recesses of your heart, you grumbled.
my question to you is dead simple,
why bother to hide if its something good?

well. i have nothing much to say about it.
come out from the pack of lies.
i have enough of those crap, and it’s time to just be yourself.

the end.
stop lying.

davidhoe

God i’m dead tired.
my last drop of strenght seemed to have vanished into the thin air.
yet, it’s a paradox that i’m able to make a post.

Yesterday, i slept for only merely two hours plus.
when i woke up, i felt that my senses was realigned to wrong position.

alright, God.
i need help.
i’m so pissed with relatively velocity.
apprarently, the inerception part.
Things are easy, but the mind enjoys to complicate issues.
please help me. Thanks.

alright. i WANT TO SLEEP.
I’M DOUBFUL IF I HAVE THE CAPACITY TO HEAD FOR SCHOOL TOMMOROW.
MADNESS.

davidhoe.

i need you so.

gracious me! it’s going to be 12.45am within a span of few minutes.
alright. just before i head of for my tempting bed, i have the adrenalin to make a snappy post.

what’s up for today?
of all the gifts that jesus has given us, i still believe that FORGIVENESS is the ulitmate gift he has given us.
He could have simply given us riches but he didn’t.
Or he could just give us fame, still he didn’t.
maybe he could leave us with, power, so we could be superhero, eh. but he didn’t.
but all he gave before he died was the cross.
the cross shows me something that no amount of power, money or fame can ever buy.
FORGIVENESS.
we have done some many morally incorrect things, but he CHOOSE to forgive.
when he made such a decision, he endured the excurciating pain.

i do not know about you,
but i wonder how many times do we really sit down and asked for forgiveness.
do we sit down and reflect? or only asked for it, when something horrendous occurs?
i wonder.

sure! today, joel and sthya did extremely well for CG attendance.
like 13-14? yeah. own people! =)
looking forward for this grp to hit 20 soon!
and for the far north grp, seeing 7 by end of this month! =)
20 by end august! =)

alright. time to slp.
oh yeah. i just managed to talk to jarvin on msn.
haha. not bad. once again, i think i uttered many stuffs again.
and he simply listens. eh. quite weird though.
cause it’s been a long time i since i last talked to him? yeah. haha
but God yeah. haha

david hoe.