Filed under: Uncategorized
To my greatest disappointment, i doubt i will ever get to see her in my entire existence on this earth. Till today, i have never seen her once, never know her name and don’t even know where she lives. However, i have only read and heard of her story.
Oh woman, you are nameless and insignificant but because of your act, Jesus actually made you part of the gospel. Gosh, you are certainly one woman who i really long to see.
You are indeed an extravagant spender. Never have i met such a woman, who will break a bottle of alabaster jar of perfume made of pure nard and pour it over a person. It’s worth a year of wages which is equivalent to $10 000.
To make matters more interesting, your act for Jesus was known as to be beautiful? How on earth could this ever be? What made your act so beautiful?
Oh i get it, you act of breaking this alabaster jar of perfume came from a heart of devotion.
What then is this whole devotion thing about?
Devotion is about bringing your life to God, and never taking it back again.
So woman, please forget me not. I really want to see who you are.
what then is my extravagance?
hoe
Filed under: random thoughts
when i was child, i have always wished of growing up and be an adult.
Yet when i am an adult, i wished the clock would turn back time.
Somehow, the days as a child seemed to be so carefree. I followed where my heart wants to lead me. The complexities of my mind were as simple as a straight line.
As much as i wished what occurred in Benjamin button’s life would do so for mine, i know it’s a wishful thinking. Nevertheless, i have learned this.
The longer i lived, my head will lie to me but my heart rarely does. Let the heart be washed daily. 
hoe
Filed under: Uncategorized
when people choose to give their lives for a single eternal cause.
hoe
Just when i thought my entire week of learning would be summarize to one word, Leadership but something else happened.
This is the story (tailored) of an ordinary guy who taught me a lesson that i will never forget. He’s the kind of guy who you may deem as China looking, reserved and easy to take advantage on. Not surprisingly, he doesn’t get much limelight shone on him.
Everyone will certainly have a chance to lead the entire unit at least once before they get posted out. As much as some may want to run away from this role, time will catch up with them. Hence, there was one day where this ordinary guy had to face reality. Frankly speaking, none of us expected much from him but only heaps of mistakes.
Thus far, i have seen many different leaders taking over the unit but he’s one leader that made a remarkable impression in my heart. What was vivid about him towards me was the smile on his face. Regardless of the countless number of mistakes (though lesser than mine), he always show the wide smile on his face.
Only when the day was coming to an end, this ordinary man was reprimanded harshly in front of hundreds because of this smile that was seemed ever lasting on his face. All expected him to remain silent during the reprimand, but he displayed such great sense of respect and submission when he replied the person. The more sincere replies he gave, the more mocking came right to his face in front of the hundreds. True enough, tears rolled down from his eyes. Then, finally the smile was eradicated. After everything, i had a word with this ordinary guy. What calls for great respect of this guy to me was that he kept his child likeness. Though the smile seemed to have been eradicated, the child likeness only grew larger.
Friend, you have taught me such a great lesson.
I wonder…
If you were the little girl as shown above, what could possibly eradicate that smile on your face?
Even if tears were to roll down you eyes, will you still be as child like as ever or just grow cold towards things?
God, as i grow up, help me to grow young.
hoe
Filed under: convictions, friends, illuminate, my endeavor, race, random thoughts
Having lived on this planet for about 21 years, this entire week has been the most devastating week for myself. The above two pictures will well illustrated the event and place where my hate for God was released.
God, i really hate you.
In my obligation to serve the nation, i had to learn shooting throughout this week. 9/10 of my training hours, were dedicated to shooting. The significance of intense training will determine the difference in my uniform colour. Blue or white. Before the course started, i thought to myself that this shooting component of my training would be easy. To my horror, it was otherwise.
I had my first shot on day one and my score was 39 out of 110. For your information, to pass one would require 60% and above. Obviously, i failed. I vividly remember that night i asked God to help me to pass. No doubt, he assured me through his word that he can do immeasurably more than i can imagine. That alone strengthen me. There comes day two where i had to take another 2 test shoots. The first test shoot, i got 22 out of 110. Then the second was 17 out of 120. Once again, i failed. Thanks so much for all the assurance.
You can put it this way, i felt cheated. What came across my mind was simply this: God, won’t you the one who assured me that you will help me to do well? Look now, instead of improving i have went downhill.
Honestly, i tried very hard to master the skill of shooting, but the more effort i laid my hands on it, the more i fail. Goodness, gracious me. To say that i felt sad was simply an understatement.
I found my refuge on the track with an Ipod. If you know me, i seldom run with music plugged into my ears but this time round i did it. There was no constant pace during this run, but only to the pace of all the songs that entered my ear. Well, you can call this an EMO run. I tell you, i honestly enjoyed this run. It was the place where i can tell God how much i hate him and broken i am. 15 rounds around the track pouring and hearing from God has never seemed to be better than anything else.
To conclude the run, i told God this:
I won’t stop believing
You alone are, You alone are God
In You there’s freedom
That night, i learn to trust God despite whatever circumstances that confronted me.
There comes the third and fourth day where i had to take my fourth and fifth test. Guess what? I failed again. However, with much improvement. For the fourth test i scored 49 out of 110. Then the fifth 57 out of 120. As elated as i can be, the knowledge of my failing never seemed to discourage me. To spice matters up, it’s painful to see everyone progressing at a much faster rate than you till a point that most have attain a pass or marksman.
As much as i would like to give up hope, i refused to give in to circumstances. I choose to believe that my God is powerful. Though honestly, i couldn’t comprehend why things were not happening as how i wanted it to be.
There came the final day, where i had to take my shooting exam. In short, this exam will determine my future in the obligation service. After all the lead (PB) gun shots, i glanced at my target frame and i knew that my hopes were close to the size of diffraction grating. After the shoots, we had to proceed outside. All that were surrounding me were wide smiles who knew that there was a high possibility that they will pass from the look of their frame. For that one hour before the released of results I was having a hard time internally. The battle was intense. Though circumstances told me that i could simply give up hope, i defiantly gave my last bullet of believe in God.
To conclude the entire happening, the results were made known to us by a Singapore shooter. As i crossed my fingers, he announced that i passed! Many faces were dumbfounded upon hearing that, so was I. How could this possibly be? I went to look at the score sheet, and by God’s power i really passed! By 3 marks! Instantly, because of this i could tell my friends that God did not let me down.
At hindsight, i came to realize what he spoke to me on the first night. His power is immeasurable.
Friends, the reason why i hate God is simple.
God is neither early or late, but he’s always on time.
How i wish he could just be early, but if he had did so i think my defiant trust in him would have never grown this deep. I truly know and believe that my God will never fail me.
On a lighter note, i have a feeling that God can’t serve national service. For one fact, the institution demands you to always be early if not consequences will come at your door steps.
‘ To your right palms down.’
So friends, if you have yet receive what God has promised you through his word. I urge you to never stop believing. For if i had, i think i will be at the losing end. Our schools, CG08 and Great Commission will be fulfilled.
All we need is instruments of God, that will avail their lives to God and walk in step of obedience. The purpose of instrument is not to determine what will be produced, but allow the user to orchestra something beautiful out. Trust the user.
Lastly, God i still hate you. I believe my hate for you will continue to grow in depth as i know you more. Certainly, my believe in you will sink even deeper.
hoe
You shape your words, and your words shape you.
Think before you speak.
James 3:6
6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
So if you don’t like the way your life or ministry is heading now, maybe it’s time to change the way you speak.
Speak faith.
hoe
Truth is not something that God decides, but it is something he is. It is God’s Nature and Character that defines truth, which defines what, is right for all people.
It is not what you and I know, it is simply what God is that makes it right and wrong.
For example:
God cannot be separated or divided. Unity is not something he strives for, it is not something he achieves. But it is something he is.
Are we benching out lives to the counterfeits truth or the truth?
hoe
