I have wanted to write this post about few days ago, but i felt not inspiration to do so until today.
Life just comes and go in the blink of an eye. I once thought to myself that when we are younger we attend relatively quite a few birthday parties bu this will take a curve for the same person when we aged.
The departure ceremony.
What i notice interestingly about how we come onto earth is that, we leave that womb with our fist tightly closed as if we want to grab everything. It seems like the whole world revolves around us. More often than not, isn’t that true? We live in a world, that everyone tries to grab whatever they can. Whatever we can hold, resemblance our worth.
Yet have you attended a wake before? When a person leaves our physical world, they leave with their fist wide open. It is only then that they realized that they cannot take the materials of this world with them. I wonder, why do we need to wait till we are near the point of death to only come to our senses that what the word says is true?
Whoever wants to keep his life will lose it, but …
I think it’s time to open up our fist and time to give back to what God has given to us.
Hoe
Just as growing old is inevitable, pain is a process where no one can be dichotomy about. However, there are different causes of pain. Of which, i believe there are two.
One of such pain is a result due to sin- which i honestly think it’s a waste of energy. While the other is godliness pain. This is when one feels the pain upon struggling. It’s like when one chooses to do what places a smile on the creator, the mockery he might undergo. But such pain are gold in colour. This is because they will shape us up to be who the creator wants us to be.
For God knows my stomach, I have been eating like mad. Need to go for more runs and swim. 
And i’m quite happy to limit my food budget to 7bucks a day! 
It has been relatively successful for the past 3 days!
hoe
Filed under: convictions
God, i wonder how many last bet do i have?
It’s easy to think of a change, but it requires tremendous painful efforts, hard work and so much more to lead a change. It has been bothering me real badly for the past week, till yesterday and even now.
When we have the ability to control our emotions, we feel awesome because we know that we can be in control. But when emotions start crippling in, we feel trapped because it’s tentacles are entangling us real badly that we suffocate and raise up the white banner. I love my emotions for it gives me the ability to express and lift up others as well, but also allow me to know that I’m not alone when I’m in a state of agony. However, it’s only true if i can control it.
At the end of day, no one controls our emotions other than ourselves. We might think by sharing it helps, yes it helps us to pour out but still the other party is not able to control those raging emotions. Maybe, what we are seeking is more than just pouring but someone to identify or feel up our insecurity tank.
Emotions, I think i love you but I hate you when you try to take me as your slave.
hoe
Thank God, that it’s finally Sunday! I wouldn’t have scrape through my entire last week without friends that allow me to rant such as Sentosa, Joshua, Xin Ru and my beloved NC3. Truly appreciate those words such as JIA YOU from Xin ru and not forgetting my sweet fabulous care group who send me a long text of affirmation. Thank You, friends. But most importantly, i really want to shout out to God for sustaining me throughout these few days with your presence.
Though the week has come to an end, i still choose not to plan it because as promise i insist on spending an extended time with my Lord. Tentatively, it would be a Thursday! Well, i still choose not to think about it until tomorrow.
Even as my day is shutting it’s wings toward me, the thought of work tomorrow somehow detest me to the core of my being. But still, you will find a way into my heart.
I LOVE SUNDAY. LIKE SERIOUSLY.
and i’m a lousy friend! I haven’t even celebrate Keith and Jang birthday! Plus my hair is too long. Need to cut it.
One republic- Say all i need
Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it
Did you trade it for something, somewhere
Better just to have it
Do you know where your love is
Do you think that you lost it
You felt it so strong but nothings
Turned out how you want it
Well bless my soul
You`re a lonely soul
Cause you wont let go
Of anything you hold
Well all I need is the air I breathe
And a place to rest my head
It has been some time since i last took a long hot shower. Allowing those water to be one with my hair and flow downwards without the limitation of time. It just feels so good when i can let my fingers slowly massage my head, face and even my body. Thought that this was one of the best way to start slowing down with God.
What i really long, crave, desire, hope, wish and desperately yearn is just to take a break from this never-ending hurdle that i have to cross daily. The thought of what are to come next after each individual huddle seems horrifying. It’s the similar feeling that what i was experiencing last year around this window of time. But even thought it may seem never-ending, i clearly know and i truly rely on God to empower me. The huddles in front of me seems intimidating but God you have to run with me together.
But more than crossing those obstacles, i just want to take a break very soon. Maybe next week. I insist on one. I need time alone with God, in the track, pool, hill and cafe. It’s time to once again take a break and find my first love. I need to spend extended time with author of life. God, though there are still heaps of challenges, sustain me till then with your presence and your strength. God, in the midst of the many things i do not ask of you to remove them but i just long for more of your presence. I want to go through the struggle and pain with you with me. Thank You, be with me
Even as i say these, there are still many things that are undone.
Planning for care group tomorrow
Catching up with Aaron
the aftermath of north CLM
North C unit overnight
camp
NORTH C
Deployment on a Sunday morning at 4.30am
Tuition with many 4 groups
University choices- overseas
SLEEP
EXERCISE?
By the way, this list only survives till Sunday. All the above mentioned items are things that i have to really think and pray through. So honestly, i just need a break! God, I’m certainly determined that come next week there will be an entire day between you and me only. NO ONE ELSE. This also means, we need to think about university choices too. I doubt that can be done by Sunday.
So God, let your presence be with me. I need to slow down.
Alright, enough of pouring out already. It’s time to get back into planning, but before that i shall pray. The time is 1.24am. Goodness. God, let’s do this together You and me.
hoe
Pain is inevitable while suffering is optional.
GP students, what do you think? Just kidding.
Anyhow, the clock is tickling its way at 5.20am and I’m writing a post because of my aftermath of viewing photos. – that’s so incoherent. Rather I’m writing this because i just want to pour out my thoughts on some photos which i saw awhile ago and other mundane reasons. Coherent enough?
Firstly, it’s because i have to stay up at this counter in hope that no single soul will cross that barrier till 8 in the morning.
Secondly, i’m relatively bored. However, with the aid of this netbook and my new book given by Keith on what i talk about when i talk about running has kept me awake for the last hour or so?
Thirdly, i’m still dumbfounded or even lost for words. When i see how people have changed over the past few years.
I wonder if i’m amazed, insecure or even just blown away?
Some girls just become what i would thought they will never be. Obviously, much more prettier. Maybe, metro is the next in things for some skinny and pretty girls. While some guys value is labeled by the brands. Goodness, i think for some reasons i might have caught up with my age by insecurity. alright, this sounds so … but as word press puts it express myself.
Alright, time to time of love relationship between my book and this soul.
hoe
Filed under: Uncategorized
I was mulling over these few thoughts last week:
Sometimes, the more we think we are right, the more we are in the danger of being wrong as we have become visual might have become handicapped by our own ego.
Anyway, who loves to believe that they are in the wrong?
The best thing about religion is that we become so busy doing things for God that it seems that we are perfectly fine but that’s not true for relationship. Humans might be caught into the motion of doing things for God, that we forget to get our lives right with him.
Oh yes, if we don’t choose to humble ourselves God will. Isn’t that wonderful? the taste of the rod.
Religion teaches us how to do the right things given the right environment, but when it comes to a different playing field be ready to be own by some balls. Whereas relationship flows out of love and truth hence whatever shape and sizes of the balls, you can take it.
In simple words, relationship can be defined as who you really are when no one is watching.
Zechariah 4:10 (New Living Translation)
10 Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.”
hoe
