Filed under: convictions, events, illuminate, my endeavor, race, relationships
Traveling aboard is something that many youths would be delighted do if given the opportunity. Certainly, this is a general assumption but with strong validity from personal experiences and the proportion of youths traveling aboard with their peers. This is only true for such an era like this, which can be narrowed down to greater affluence. Such affluence gives people an opportunity to view the world beyond their borders. A different feel, smell, sight and most importantly experience. This would be one of the driving motivation for them to leave their borders. No doubt, they get what they see from the mass media but it’s only when they start to walk the ‘unglamorous areas, then will the view of traveling takes a turn. Honestly, such sights have the power to engage, deter or to be angry about. When people have the means to control, it might not necessary be the best. With power that comes with lack of discipline, will merely lead to self destruction.
My recent trip to Bangkok experience is a small fraction of what’s describe above. No doubt, my main motivation to Thailand was simply shopping. Hence, it was fulfilled till a state of euphoria after purchasing clothes, watches and so much more.The fun ended off with a slight pain that was worthwhile such as carrying many bags while heading back to the airport. Yet this doesn’t necessary means it was extremely joyful because when i consider what i saw on the streets while i was buying freely at those flee markets. To some, it’s entertainment but to me it was just a sense of discontentment for those kids that were performing with musical instruments, plays, juggling ball or even going around to collect money. Instead of building up the euphoria level while my spending was utopia, i questioned what have they done to deserve this? No doubt, their family circumstances has brought them to this state. Then i wonder, those stuff that i purchased were they also the same people that manufactured it? Yes, i learn about child labor when i was Secondary Four but now it’s at my sight. Though the young ones have accepted their current state of life and learn to be contented with, i still believe there is a slight slice of hope within them longing to live their lives freely. Our spending may bring us tremendous joy, but only their undeserved sweat.
Night market is certainly one of those that everyone tourist look forward too. Before i came to this unknown land, i’ve always heard Mothers do not like their Husband to travel to Thailand. For what particular reasons, i do not fully comprehend.However, it was only when we were at Patpong-(one of those few night market attractions) those reasons surfaced. Initially i was excited because of more shops but soon disgusted at what happened before our naked eyes. Just when i could be even more disgusted and make judgment about their jobs, i once again realized that they did not sign up for such jobs with anticipation but stifled opportunities led them to such state. I wonder when will they ever be tired of those fake smiles they are putting up. What is entertainment and pleasure to tourist is a loss of true self worth that they take on something that was not originally theirs. No doubt tourist ability to control their worth with cash is enough to compensate their dignity. So honestly, what’s there to lose? Yet, i still believe that this was not the life that they have dream of.
It’s only after we settled down at a pub that gave us a ‘clean impression’ then we were horrified. It was their country pride and maybe icon. They were listed for being the top 3. Goodness, young boys of no more than my age throw themselves to foreigners not because of their skin colour but the those papers with a value. Yes, outwardly all parties are enjoying. But tell me, does those boys really want such a job? To those buying them for hours, they are just like any toy. How do such boys feel? I just thought to myself, the ability to control can make a human to a dog. This is once again an assumption, but at least true for what i saw.
For all these services, your $40 bucks gives you great pleasure if you call it, but their rice bowl.
I have came to realize that such places are not meant for me to go alone for if i did, i wonder where will i be right now. I was only kept ’safe to a degree’ because of the company that went with me. I wonder, even if a man is strong willed but when he is placed in such vulnerable situations will he stand strong? I honestly doubt he can. Imagine, every step you take for the next few hundreds is filled with surrounding temptations. Still, i have come to comprehend that man’s will power alone is useless but only when we walk right with the spirit and the voice that lingers within just keep guiding us then we might overcome.
Still, what can a voice do unless tough love is shown to oneself.
This entire trip was certain enjoyable but it made me wonder about this world that i’m living in.
Broken and distorted lives that is covered up by fun.
God, give me the opportunity to work beyond this island and such a power that allows me to change this situation for your kingdom cause.
hoe
I clearly remember how nervous i felt when i had to approach you and invited you for service.
We were from different worlds, but i knew you needed a God thing to give you a meaning to your endless chase.
When you agreed, i was overjoyed and kept calling you and remind you that we will be meeting in somerset mrt at 2pm.
That wasn’t the worse. As the service program proceeded, my heart begun to beat faster as if there were spikes underneath the pink flesh. I wondered to myself why would you even cross the line of faith, but i still tried. I didn’t know how did God touch your heart, but you decided to take the step of faith to know this loving God. Honestly, i seriously felt a great sense of relieved and joy bursting within me.
The next day, we met under your shelter at Toa Payoh Blk 2 and i gave you encouragement card and shared with you ACTS. I seriously remember all these happened. The follow up was horrifying though it turned out well.
I will never forget that incident at Toa Payoh swimming pool. You were reluctant to go swimming with our care group because you feared to be topless. On your biceps it engraved with 4 Chinese characters. I was lost for words, because you were only 14. You had the tattoo when you were 12.
I saw how God’s power changed your life that it came to a point that Miss Tuan approached me and asked me to continue to bring people to church. You turned away from smoking, fights, and all those stuff that would harm your body.
I used to think to myself that when i take a bus down yishun, there will be many memories that will eject out of the brain. This point was proven otherwise, when i took a run down Toa Payoh today to visit your wake. I literally remember the places we were at for shepherding, care group (and even once i had to use to butcher knife to control the horrible care group with gangsters), under the shelter, your house and so much more.
However, all these memories lasted for merely months and you then turn your back against his love. Well, for those reasons that you explained. I still remember the last shepherding we had at the Lorong 8 market.
Ever since i left Beatty, i have never seen you for years. Until few days back, when i could only see your on papers.
Dearest Gerald Chia, i honestly wish i could turn back time and be even more persistent to ask you to remain in his love and not fall into the world. Yes, i thought to myself that i might have lost a friend, sheep, brother and all. But that’s not the worse.
Now i have lost you eternally.
You know what, i hope that during that few moments when you were crossing life to death you remember that there this God that loves you and run back to him. Now my only hope is that we shall meet in Heaven. You are really one person that meant a lot to me because God showed me what his love could do.
God, i finally understand better what does it mean people matter to you.
hoe
I belong to this generation known as the generation Y. This term is coined by a person who has successfully influence the media to use such a ‘fashionable’ label. If you are born between the 1980’s to 1994, then you are part of the youthful generation I’m in!
Generation Y. 
However, generation Y is so hot that everyone wants everything they have in it. We don’t just want part of it, but everything.
Guess what? This seems to be a real game but the winner of the game is decided by this factor.
Whoever wants it most, will get it.
Apparently, our competitors ain’t the most giving or best person you want to be on the same level of playing field.
Introducing, the mass media, politics, street gangs, education, fame, insecurity, sex, money, power and so much more. But i belong to the church of God who is also fighting to win this generation Y.
The game has already begun. I play to win, not play to keep playing.
However, this is more than a game to me.
hoe
* i want to eat curry fish head! I found my house area supper buddy!
Filed under: convictions, illuminate, my endeavor, random thoughts, relative/absolutes
It’s just funny or even ironic that many of us simply receive love but seldom love others. The joke of it all, is that we silently label such people as jerks, selfish or anything that carries the same implication. But do we realize that we are no difference from those labels? huhhuh.
Christians, don’t you think we find it so easy to recieve God’s love in our lives? Especially those moments in worship where we felt God’s forgiveness or love pouring over our lives. We believed with all our hearts that God gave his only son and life for our salvation. He brought us from darkness to light. He fought for our lives when no one else will.
But my question to you is simple, what have you given to him? I guess most of us have always been on the receiving end but never really giving.
True giving is only when you give till you hurt.
When was the last time when you gave to God till you hurt?
My last point to all the singles out there, how can we boldly claim to love a imperfect person when we can’t even make the decision to love a perfect God?
By the way, love has no equal standing with like.
hoe
Gosh, i hate it when God places so much burden and fumes within my heart and sometimes i feel completely helpless. Hence, pathetic. But still, i love that stirring and kicking. Instead of kick some ass, i think God kick some hearts. lol.
Filed under: books, convictions, illuminate, just my favourites, likings, race, random thoughts, relationships
HOORAY! REJOICE WITH ME, SAY REJOICE! IF THIS IS NOT ENOUGH, USE THE REJOICE SHAMPOO!
DAVID IS NO LONGER A TRAINER IN HIS URBAN JUNGLE AND THIS MEANS NO MORE STAYING IN AND LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT PALMS DOWN! The best deal of all, is that i get to lie down on my ULTRAMAN bed everyday! Swee right?
Yes, as much as i rejoice over the passing out this week has also been an astounding week for me in terms of truth confrontations with God. This simply happens when you find time out and take a book and read it while your back is against the beanbags and chilling wind from the ceiling air conditioner blows at you. How i wish my house was like this 
To cut the whole long story short, i shall type a short extract of what i read that caught me thinking. Friends and family, think about it.
Honestly, the question that reverberated within my mind was just this question:
how many faces must you have?
While religion works to restrain our actions from the outside in, God always works from the inside out. Only this kind of change lasts. Its sustaining power comes not from the spirit of God, but from your desire to become the person God dreams of. Your motivation is not what others think of you, nor even the consequences of your actions if you choose another way, but your longing to have the image of God revealed in you. You simply want to be a different person.
When we lack integrity, we might alter our decision based on who others are or even how we feel about them. If we admire someone or aspire to be valued by that individual, a lack of integrity will cause us to conform to what we believe that person wants us to be.
Jesus only had ONE FACE. When we show different sides of ourselves to different people, we become two-faced at the very least. When we lack integrity, we find ourselves being several people, depending on the circumstances. We subdivide our lives and justify our differing values systems based on context. Our character becomes a product to be sold. We become personality salesmen rather than people of substance.
Gosh, what do you think? Honestly, it just caught me really thinking if we are always seeking for people’s approval by our actions, praises and eyes on us. The worse thing that could have ever happen here is this, YOU JUST CAN’T BE THE PERSON OF SUBSTANCE. Just how long, will we continue to act in this stage of life? Can we just choose to be who we were really made to be?
Can i be real honest with you? The only word that came across my mind when i read the above extract was this PATHETIC. Stop living in a world where you have to perform for others, you can choose to live your life with one face. Just like how Jesus did.
I just the below extract is what i love most.
It is in this state that we become people of integrity. It’s more than ”what you see is what you get”. Integrity is not just about who you are, but who you seek to become. When we have integrity, we don’t need to pretend. We are well aware of our weakness and shortcomings. Integrity is not about being flawless, but being ‘flaseless.’ When you watch a person of integrity, you can know what’s inside him or her. The individual in transparent. You can see what’s inside the heart and witness the light emanating from within.
Lastly, i like how Mark Twain puts it.
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything. But then again, if you are a liar, you’d better have a great memory. When we tell the truth, that’s all we haev to remember. When we live in deceit, we haev too many faces and lies to keep track of.
So friends and family, let’s be people of only one face. People who can choose to be real but yet helping each other to grow closer with God. Many times there are hurts and backstabbing in relationship just shows that how ‘pathetic’ we are that we do not know that we are drowning in our insecurities. To those who are watching others drowning and only keep watching, just who are we trying to be? Are we so blinded by our own un forgiveness that we do not realize that Christ won’t forgive us as well? Wake up, we all need one another. If in this family, we can’t be one face then i wonder how long and how much energy do you have to last you through this life?
I dare to tell you about my past, but i am not condemn because i have moved on and i know that God has already forgiven me. To you, i never need to have many faces, but just one. The real me- the man that God has dream of me to me.
So dearest family and friends, this is who i am.
davidhoe
Filed under: convictions, illuminate, my endeavor, race, random thoughts, relationships
The turmoil of my soul lasted for three days consecutively. The relieve only came in a single phrase but it set me into the motion of deep thoughts. Though the days of intense pain in souls seemed over, it only fuel the flame within.
Still i wonder, and won’t you wonder with me.
What if God actually reigns in our lives?
One phrase that ended the tears, pain and cries from within.
I want to reign in their lives.
Man, i think it’s time to put the one thing back to where it truly wants to be at. Then, it’s time to take back what actually belongs to you.
hoe
Even though many hours have passed from the scene i was last in, the memories of that incident is still burning brightly in my mind.
Just a few hours ago, i tucked in under my blanket after watching iron man on my itouch and headed to the land as usual. However, this time round it was horrifying than enjoyable.
It was just so real. All along my heart has been burning with this conviction in building God’s church. At then end of day, it’s not really how many Christians we have in church today, but rather how many people will stand firm and strong in the end of times.
This time round, i literally dreamt that i was in end times. The funny thing was, it all happened during church camp. Though we might believe that many stood up for what they belief but it was not true in the dream i was in. Honestly, at then i had to decide if i will choose to stand up for God’s church or like the others who choose to retreat back. It was a test of whatever i have been saying. Though i must admit that the tension was high and giving in like the others seemed to be an easy option but i choose to stand firm. The entire row of people that stood up were leaders or members who were committed to God and his church.
To cut all the details of what happened, something interesting happened. What caused people to turn back to God and bring about ultimate victory to God and his people was simply Praise. Once the praises of God started to ring throughout the all, victory was on our side. Soon after the church of God won.
Another interesting sight that caught my attention was the magnificent view of the moon that i saw. It was moving so fast from the left to the right and it was beautiful. – random.
Though this dream might not be a true picture of what might happen in the end times but honestly it caught me thinking of this question, ‘Will I leave out what i have been saying?’
Saying is one thing, but the real test come when we have to choose to live it out.
Lastly, to all the north c people who are reading this! A gentle reminder to the four schools that we want to see God’s communities established by end of July!
ADSS
RIVERSIDE
WOODLANDS
MARSAILING
Let’s bring God’s glory back into our schools! 
Davidhoe
I could say many things, and many things could tell you how i feel. But still, it is the one word that bridges my pit and his character in all circumstances. If it’s not for this word, i think at times i would not even realized the downward spiralling life i am sinking into.
The truth is this, as much as i hate this word, i love it as well.
God, sometimes i really wonder if this word is remove in my life what would i do with this life of mine?
HELP
I love the hands of grace and mercy but i hate the tension within. :/
hoe
Having been a human for a considerably a relatively long period of time- which gives me the credibility to make the following statement.
I believe that all humans seek to be rescued in the pits of life.
So to speak, i am part to of human population as well.
Before we continue to scroll out naked eyes downwards, do we believe that God is sovereign and knows whatever he’s doing?
If so, please continue. If not, reading any further may be on simple incremental knowledge to oneself.
I believe that God knows what he’s doing, thus it would sound to say that in all seasons (meaning those troughs and crest) he has a clear purpose behind it.
Then what is God’s purpose for us?
I also believe that behind the facade of isolation in times of trouble and uncertainty God ultimate purpose has always been to draw us nearer to him and building a deeper depth of relationship with him. In fact, this has been his purpose for everything.
The truth is this, in such seasons of our life we can choose to argue, fight our way through but until the primary goal/purpose is accomplished we will never move forward.
Funny thing is, our primary goal is to be rescued but God’s primary goal is simply refining. It is in such period of isolation, where God reveals to us what has happened to us.
2 Chronicles 32:31 (New International Version)
31 But when envoys were sent by the rulers of Babylon to ask him about the miraculous sign that had occurred in the land, God left him to test him and to know everything that was in his heart.
Just like in a game of bridge, you can’t choose your cards, can you? However, you choose how the game shall be played when the cards are deal to you. In the same way, in our periods of discouragement, isolation or whatever pit you name it, complain all you want but that does not mean that the game of bridge will be won. Your partner is ready to win the number of sets with you, but are you?
10% of life is what happened to you, 90% is how you decide to respond to it.
So God, instead of always asking to be resuced teach me to learn to seek refinement first. Until your purpose is done, if not i shall not move forward.
hoe
D
In the ocean of blue men, there i stand within. This has been the day, that every atom of the ocean has been looking forward too. Certainly, the parade comes with a high price of standing in the excruciating blazing heat.
So now, David Hoe Teck Chye is an official policeman that has his responsibilities to this society. Yes Sir!
As i journeyed my way to camp yesterday, it dawned upon me that 4 months pass me by within the wink of an eye. I still clearly recount the day where i entered with a smile on 6th Jan 09 and now it’s 7th may 09.
As i pondered further, i cannot help but to acknowledge that time flies pass up much faster than the speed of light. Have i ever shared with you about the irony of time as i grew up? When I was a child, time seemed to sweep pass me at a snail pace but as i grew older it leaps over me without me catching a glance of time. However, the truth is the pace of time has never changed.
As fast as time sprint her way, i wonder to myself this question.
In the wink of an eye, 4 months have passed me by but have i grown throughout this period?
Believe me, in no more than 2 winks you will realize that you will be celebrating my birthday and ready to welcome 2010.
Honestly, are we growing? As clique as this may sound by i am a firm believer that to grow is a choice and to make it happen is a commitment.
Hence, before you wink both eyes and start moaning about how you have spent your time take a literal wink into your life and do something about it.
To me, i can grow as much as i feel like doing so, but one thing that i will always want to keep growing is my walk with my lord.
What about you?
hoe
